Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
