i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Randomize
