Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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