doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
