sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
3pm strippers are depressing
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
