The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
