I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
