he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
