I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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