and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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