i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
