Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
