Yo dont text me then not text me
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
