Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
