some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
its not stalking. its research.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
