I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
