new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize
