Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
