Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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