Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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