they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
