The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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