YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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