If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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