He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
