She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Let's paint friendship bongs
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
