please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
