I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
