Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
