i may or may not be watching the land before time
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
