..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
