I just saw a hot homeless man
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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