Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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