That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
