Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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