Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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