How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
