i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
