i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
