I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
