And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
