Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
