I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
