they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
