Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
