Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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