dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
