I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
