Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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