I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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